Thursday, 28 July 2011

such abundance

I want to post a little something I was writing down... but my weak writing cannot comprehend the vastness of the revelation of any of the things I touch on here.
I just am left in awe. Every time. Jesus is King and I adore Him.

Lord Jesus I have NEVER been this free. This is so deep. deep. deep. and the stongest I have known freedom to be. What you have imparted into my spirit far outweighs any kind of emotion. You have Ruined me for living on emotion. I don't need or want that way anymore. Your reality has redefined me.
 You have revealed to me the perfect sufficiency of Your leadership, and set me free to follow You into my own leadership because of that. I am free to be Deborah!!!
I will lead. And I will begin now, not needing a man to hold my hand, even though I am not doubtful of your provision coming at it's perfect time. I am not defined by the past positions in which I have stood in regard to leadership, but I am defined by You. Fresh sight of the original design that You intended me to walk in. It's the most beautiful thing.
     You are leading me into the knowledge and assurance of my authority. I can stand in the face of the accuser and call out: "Who gave me this authority? Are you kidding?! Have you not heard? I belong to JESUS... and He Bestowed this authority upon me." I am unafraid to warrior with You, God.

To be a sincere, reverant, warrior intercessor in Your courts. To resurrect nations with the tenacity and ferocity of my song; knowing it really is Yours - my tongue is the pen of a Skillful Writer.
and again my lover, You are romancing me into richer and more fervent intimacy and consecration to You... calling me to sit with You and be lead into the nations, having no other requirement for me than to BE WITH YOU, and LISTEN. and then we will walk out together. I have nothing to fear , for it has been settled deep in my soul.
You are my God.
I am crucified to the world. Alive to You. Truly Alive. More and more every hour.

such abundance,
such abundance,

is my portion with my God. Forever.

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I love you all, friends.

Friday, 8 April 2011

3 months blogless boggles and I am more in love with Jesus than ever

The past 3 months are...not updateable...  the Lord has given abundantly more grace than I could share.
Know that He is transforming the knowledge of Him in my heart.
At the end of January was the intreat at Nexus, where God just poured out words of this season. Words about equipping, settling, and dependence. Words of encouragement and kindness. Kindness has been such a big word. 
Hosea 2: 14,15
“Therefore I am now going to allure her; 
   I will lead her into the wilderness 
   and speak kindly to her. 
 There I will give her back her vineyards, 
   and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. 
There she will respond as in the days of her youth, 
   as in the day she came up out of Egypt.

God has really fulfilled this word through my time back in Wales. So much of this place is a wilderness and God opens my eyes to it all the time. South Wales is deprived and broken spiritually, abused by liberalism and stifled by a spirit of religion. 
Culture is ruled by what 'should be done' and false politeness surrounds the way many people interact with one another.
In this way I have seen more wilderness than I ever did before.
In this way the Lord has walked me into it - in order that He would lead me into the promised land fully leaning upon Him... knowing and living in His kind, steadying voice. 

I just want to live in complete dependence upon Jesus.
It is there I find fullness of security and it is there God is exalted. Oh for Him to be exalted in the way He is worthy of!!
I am desperate to be one of the Levites, when they run to Moses as a sign of them being 'for the Lord' [Ex 32] and so for all time on the Lord consecrates them to Himself as his priests and ministers. I want to be a levite! In a sprint towards God, continuously in consecration instead of giving myself to idols.

Leaning upon, consecrated to, and living out of Jesus and all He is. 

Yeah! This is where life is found. In the fullness of Jesus. I find all of life here.
Everything I could ever want and immeasurably more than I could have thought I needed. 

Freedom. Abundance, freedom, JOY. Real JOY. space and settling. Boundary lines. Intimacy and fire and the glory of the king. 

He is a good, good God.

Saturday, 8 January 2011

Ground Breaking, Chain Shattering, Grace Grace Grace bought Freedom

I have been reading Luther's essay on freedom recently. And it's beautiful. His understanding and explanation of the liberation of Christ is Foundational revolutionary beastliness. 

For my heart, it was really a renewal of my understanding of salvation: Faith alone Justifies. 
That statement is over-used and under-meant in so many christtian circles. But oh to know the fulness of it's meaning in our hearts. 
To grasp that Christ has placed us with Him in heavenly places and has anointed us with joy, freedom and everlasting Real life NOT through our daily discipline, or our obedience to the word, or even our devotion to the heart of God - relationship with Him ... but !!!! It is in our step of FAITH to trust that He is who He says He is - our saviour and the one we need for all things of Godliness - justification, purification, reconciliation. 
To know the liberation and joy this understanding sets in my walk with Him. Free to love Jesus without guilt. With a heart fully redeemed in His sight although still so wayward... and a soul no longer thirsty but daily and eternally quenched by His Love.
He is pleased with me because I am His daughter... and I can know Him fully and nourishingly because He has given me this gift of salvation - of justification... I can have peace with my father .. undeserved peace, with the Lord of All.. He is powerful enough to shake the earth and still chose to be bruised for my that humanity would know His name and have a WAY to Him. a way to be reconciled to unity with the Father. 

How sweet and strong His love.

Romans 5 By faith we have been made acceptable to God. And now, because of our Lord Jesus Christ, we live at peace with God. Christ has also introduced us to God's undeserved grace on which we take our stand. So we are full of joy, as we look forward to sharing in the glory of God.

Another wonderful thing Luther points out is that trusting God with ourselves is the highest, purest form of worship, as it fully and completely declares that we believe God to be exactly who He says. 
Amazing . 

I've just started back at school after Christmas Holiday time and it was such a blessing from the Lord's hand to spend New Year with Lou and her family - they are so alive! It was nourishment to my soul but also to Good God is to always benefit us in our spirits. 
Being back at school is good. I'm still struggling with my commitment to schoolwork, but God is walking me through the growth of discipline and motivation. I have been seeking it for so long and many  many a time have tried to work out how to nail it in my own strength. But the beauty of following Jesus is that His correction is COUNSEL and Gentle. So just was made aware that He walks me through a process gently and efficiently that when the fruit comes it is well grown.
It's like walking out a path in an untrodden field full of grass. That is what our lives are like without the pattern of the Kingdom... grass without any paths of life walked out yet. As we come to know the Lord more and more He teaches us the way to walk by the counsel of His scripture... steadily leading to craft out paths not yet trodden (by us). The first time you walk it you can't even really tell a difference, maybe you wouldn't even be able to walk the same way again, but the more and more the Lord guides us down it the more it becomes a habitual way we walk and the more obvious and natural it becomes to us to walk this way. 
I believe this is how it is for my walk into discipline and motivation for following and submitting to teaching at school.
The bible calls it "the renewing of our mind" in Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your minds.

Let me be transformed. 

At the end of my 2nd Year at Nexus, Dave Silber wrote this on my report: "I pray that you will come to more of an understanding of God's love (Ephesians 3) and fully immerse yourself in it."
Oh that I would as I journey with Christ. 
His love is life to me.

Monday, 15 November 2010

Trip to Kona

For a while I have been hoping to visit Hawaii. "Hawaii?" I hear you ask. Yes Hawaii.
YWAM (youth with a mission) are a christian organisation that run discipleship training schools (amongst other things) that run from bases all over the world. They train the next generation to follow Jesus and live lives submitted to Christ - resulting in students coming back to their homes or on to other things and seeing God's Kingdom be released where they are.

There is a YWAM base in Kona, Hawaii and I have links with those that run it, and having a heart for YWAM I felt led to look into visiting the base.
So as the leaders of the base - Jeff and Bethany Reid - agreed that I could come visit, I am (God willing) going!

I need about £800 to make this trip possible, and am hoping to go immediately after Christmas through to New Year, or potentially end of February through to March. I also need to pray into suitable times to go
as I have an exam in January it would not be right for me to take a lot of time off school.
Please Pray with me that the Lord would provide funds for this trip, and for insight and understanding on whether to go and what times to go.


Monday, 11 October 2010

Bon Weekend

I spent this weekend in Coventry, and it was such a joy to visit! The Lord really used people and different things to bring strength and encouragement to my heart.

One of the big things was realising the work He has been doing in my heart since I have been home. It's hard to see it when you are in the same place!
 I've been awakened to the fact that I totally have a people pleasing syndrome... and it has taken such a long time for me to admit this... especially before God;
       But the Lord has been really gently but fiercely opening up my heart, and in doing this He is showing me things that need to be overcome and really reminding me His power and willingness to leading me into more victory and freedom. yeahhh.
I'm so thankful for this!......... and being in Coventry I really saw how He has already released some of my desire to please people - to be affirmed by others just isn't my first anymore.
Oh such liberation I find in the journey to become a lover living for an audience of one.

I am found and planted by the streams of the river of God - He is my affirmation and delight - He is the only one I want to please.. and I am waiting more and more to see that become a true reality in the way I interact with life .

It's just so good to know that He is faithful in making me more like Him. i'm so amazed by Jesus and the sheer brilliance of His nature.

I want so much more!

Wednesday, 6 October 2010


Oh the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus

Oh the deep deep love of Jesus

Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free,
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me.

Underneath me, all around me,
Is the current of thy love;
leading onward, leading homeward
To my glorious rest above.

Oh the deep deep love of Jesus!

Spread His love from shore to shore
How he loves us, Ever loves us
Changes never, never more
Watching fiercely over His loved ones
Died to call them all His own.

How for them He is interceding,
Watching over them from the throne

OH the deep deep LOVE of Jesus!!

Love of every love the Best.
Tis an ocean vast of blessing
Tis a haven sweet of rest.
Oh the deep deep Love of Jesus,

Tis a heaven of heavens to me;

And it lifts me up to glory
For it lifts me up to thee.

The Love of Jesus is everything.
I cannot express it!

Wonderful Love.